The lens one views technology through is massively situational, and experiential; however, the subjectivity of whether you like it or not, cannot separate it from the everyday life of nearly every human on the planet. Technology is completely and utterly integrated with the human experience now. Gone are the days of rubbing sticks together to create heat and light, we have light switches now! This doesn’t just cover the low end of Maslow’s hierarchy, technology has managed to climb all the way to the top. With the advent of dating apps, goal planners, messaging services, even AI companions – modern developments have completely revolutionised relationships (platonically and romantically).
This digital shift, such is the nature of tech, has positive and negative use cases. Real world safety is the first risk associated with the grey area created by the combination of technology and dating. Often this manifests innocently – a bad date, being stood up – but it is important to note that more dangerous things have occurred. Being mindful of who you’re talking to is paramount to your safety online, always.
The flipside of this are the countless happy stories created by what modern technology facilitates. How many people met or keep in contact with their significant others online. The jump from carrier pigeon to instant long-distance messaging has probably saved more distance-relationships than anybody can count.
It goes to show, bad people will always find a way to abuse gifts, whereas normal people look to enhance their lives without harming others. It is up to us as a collective of humans to use tools positively.
That being said, there is much nuance to be found in this area of development, so let’s talk about it.
The Promise and (Potential) Perils of Dating Apps
Online dating is already a multi-billion-dollar business, and it’s projected to keep booming. With an average revenue of $7.80 per user and well over 390 million users, it’s pretty self-explanatory how these numbers stack up.
Now, all dating apps and websites state that their purpose is to bring people together, but their popularity has changed the paradigms in how people do this. Dating apps at their very core, are surface level. Individuals make a snap judgement on whether they want to connect with another individual based off a few pictures, and a pre-amble on what their personality or interests might be like. People are judged on a curated snapshot of their life – this curation often a team effort, with groups of friends attempting to find their single friend a match.
On top of this, the sheer volume of profiles the average user can see, produces an unconscious idea of abundance, and readily available connections to be made. This can devalue and distort one’s perception of how they connect with people, online and offline.
The effects of this shift are evident – with one study reporting that roughly 45% of men aged 18-25 years old, have never approached a woman in person. There are hours of debate to be had over the sociopsychology of contemporary dating, and how the media and social media has shaped it. Without considering external motivations and whether it’s right or wrong, it is indisputable that media and dating mediums have instrumentally shaped the landscape of romantic relationships in the 21st century.
Scroll Deep: Where Love Sits in the Feed
The pressures of modern dating have also changed with the advent of technology. There is a stark contrast to the disagreements that there were relating to conduct within a relationship. Those currently searching for a partner must be well versed in the social norms of what is acceptable behaviour online, as well as the pressures exerted by portrayals of relationships online.
Young people are repeatedly exposed to unrealistic vignettes of relationships, made by people whose income relies on there being engagement with their content. The very model of this is unhealthy, but the way in which it creates expectations is negative.
It is important to take note that these single captured moments in time are not real. I mentioned briefly before about how dating profiles are highly curated caricatures of the real person – this is no different. Expectations in modern dating are shifting, now dictated by trends that emerge on social media. The way people interact, the way they express interest, even the way they argue—so much of it is learned behaviour from online. ‘Hard launching’ relationships with meticulously edited Instagram posts, ‘soft launching’ with a cryptic story vaguely hinting at a significant other, subtweeting relationship frustrations—these digital rituals have become embedded in contemporary romance.
The other side to this is that digital media is all stored indefinitely. Yes there may be a sinister side to that, but in the wake of the LA wildfires that destroyed more than 12,000 homes the existence of a digital photo album pays dividends. Homes may be rebuilt, and insurance may help you replace certain items of value, but physical media is unfortunately fragile by nature. Placing your memories in a digital archive protects them from the threats of climate change.
It is important to take the things that we see on social media with a pinch of salt. The apps are designed to keep us scrolling through them for as long as possible, and influencers are incentivised to promote this behaviour through content. If you ever feel like you are missing out or being left behind by things you see online, remember – it’s not real. Build and communicate your own expectations, take life at your own pace, and make time and space for the things you are passionate about.
XR-omantic: When AI Plays Cupid
Extended reality (XR) and artificial intelligence (AI) are pushing the boundaries of what love and connection look like in the digital age. AI companions, once the realm of science fiction, are now very real— in the form of virtual partners, or interactive avatars designed to provide companionship. As these are relatively new technologies, research into their long term social and psychological effects just doesn’t exist. Despite this, there is a market for this, and while some may find it dystopian, others see it as a valid response to loneliness.
One way to integrate XR to your dating life could be through PLAAAY; a novel dating idea. PLAAAY’s capabilities as a guide give you the opportunity to focus on your partner, giving both of you more quality time together, and an opportunity to learn about your location. Perhaps discovering some hidden gems to go to once you’ve completed your mission. Many PLAAAY games also contain super fun photo-ops, providing you with the perfect opportunity for a one of a kind keepsake for you and your partner. As PLAAAY locations expand, so does your ability to explore unfamiliar places.
With Great Power Comes..
Technology has fundamentally reshaped the landscape of modern relationships. From the swipe-driven interfaces of dating apps to the emergence of AI companions, we're witnessing a fascinating convergence of human connection and digital innovation.
The reality is that technology in dating isn't inherently good or bad – it's a powerful tool whose impact depends entirely on how we choose to wield it. While dating apps have created unprecedented opportunities for connection, they've also introduced new challenges in how we perceive and value potential relationships. Social media has given us new ways to celebrate and document our love, yet simultaneously created pressure to perform and conform to unrealistic relationship standards.
What's particularly intriguing (or concerning) is how rapidly this evolution accelerates. As we stand at the frontier of extended reality and AI-driven relationships, we're forced to grapple with fundamental questions about the nature of human connection. The current direction suggests we're moving toward a future where digital and physical experiences of romance become intertwined.
Perhaps the key takeaway is this: while the tools and platforms we use to find and nurture love may change, the core human desire for authentic connection remains constant. The challenge for future generations will be learning to navigate this tech-enhanced dating landscape while maintaining genuine human connections.
As we move forward, it's crucial to approach these technological innovations with both enthusiasm and mindfulness – embracing their potential to enrich our romantic lives while staying grounded in what makes human relationships meaningful. After all, technology should enhance, not replace, the beautiful complexity of human connection.
What do you think the next decade holds for the intersection of technology and love? One thing's certain – we're only at the beginning of this fascinating journey.
