EXP.ert Hacks Vol. 1

EXP.ert Hacks

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Welcome to EXP.ert Hacks, a segment where we go out and discover or test innovative improvisations within existing systems to produce exciting and unique rewards. This time I will be covering a delicious hack involving 7/11 in Japan, specifically: The Mango Lassi 🥭

It’s important to note that the mango lassi doesn’t exist in nature. Or rather, it isn’t a naturally occurring product even within the hallowed aisles of 7/11 in Japan.To fill this desperate void, fearless conbini pioneers got up to some light subversion and found this great hack. Let’s test it out:

First a bit of history: In 2021- relatively recent in convenience store years- 7/11 introduced frozen fruit cups in the freezer section that customers could then blend in special machines. There were several different flavors- strawberry and banana, blueberry, greens- but one undeniable standout: pure, unadulterated mango. This is where our story begins.

Upon walking in to the sliding doors of 7/11 and hearing the melodic chime that let’s you know you have arrived at the ultimate form of convenience store, immediately make your way to the freezer with this sticker:

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Opening up you can see different flavors, but don’t waste your time- head straight for the real thing (it even has it's own special shelf):

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*note, not all areas in Japan have mango cups, do not take them for granted if you find them.

Now while most customers would leave it at that and head to the register, you are not most customers. Instead, head towards…the yogurt aisle.

Find the R-1 yogurt drink, this will be how we lassify™ our smoothie. While I didn’t invent this hack, I DID begin substituting typical R-1 yogurt with R-1 The GOLD, which I think makes all of the difference. I call the resulting concoction the 7/11 GOLD MANGO LASSI® (must be written in all caps, we are very litigious). So yea, let’s get to the good stuff- head to the register and pay, disregard the concerned look on the clerk’s face, or just as likely an intense eye-roll. That is pure jealousy for the treat you are about to imbibe.

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So you’ve paid (ideally with a commemorative Suica for an extra sustained clerk eye-roll), now head over to the smoothie machine, the real heart of this entire enterprise. Working tirelessly throughout the day to make your ‘fruit diet’ a reality, all this machine asks is for you to scan the barcode on the cup and remove the lid, confirm that you have removed the lid, and press a start button that again confirms that the lid has been removed (please remove the lid), and it’s off to the races. The lassi races™.

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Wait a few minutes (browse the magazine section while you are at it), and you will have a perfectly blended, top-lit smoothie presented to you, waiting like a lost child. Stop browsing and pick it up already.

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And here the real fun begins- take your smoothie, go to a safe space, and pour the R-1 gold into the mix. The amount in the bottle should exactly fill up the cup (if this isn’t serendipity then I don’t know what is), now all that’s left is to grab a straw, mix until the beautiful ombre of orange and white has settled into the perfect golden hue, cap it, and...